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Ellyn Satter's Division of Responsibility in Feeding

The Division of Responsibility in Feeding is a model created by Ellyn Satter, a dietitian and family therapist. Parents decide what food is offered, when it is offered and where; children decide how much to eat and whether to eat it at all. For babies the split is simpler: the parent decides what, and the baby decides how much.

Most advice about feeding children tells you what to do at the table. Satter's model starts a step earlier, with who is in charge of which decision. Parents own the menu, the timetable and the setting. Children own their appetite. Neither side does the other's job.

That sounds abstract until a dinner goes wrong. Counting bites, offering dessert for a clean plate, or cooking a second meal when the first is refused are all a parent taking over a decision the model gives to the child, or handing over one the model gives to the parent. The Division of Responsibility is a way of noticing which is which.

The model and its wording belong to the Ellyn Satter Institute, which publishes it in full on its own site. What follows is a summary in plain words, with the institute's pages linked in the sources for anyone who wants the original.

What parents decide and what children decide

Satter describes the split changing as a child grows, while the child's half never shrinks. The child always decides how much, and from the toddler years on, whether to eat what is offered.

  • Babies: the parent decides what (breast milk or formula) and helps the baby stay calm. The baby decides how much, and leads on timing and pace.
  • Moving to family food: the parent still decides what, and starts deciding when and where. The child still decides how much and whether to eat what is offered. Satter ties the move from purees to lumpier food to finger food at the table to what the child can do, not to their age.
  • Toddlers through teenagers: the parent decides what, when and where. The child decides how much and whether.

EatPal plans the what and when for you: a week built from your child's safe foods, with one small try bite at a time beside them. Start free or take the 2-minute quiz.

The parent's side, in practice

The institute lists the parent's feeding jobs. In everyday terms they come to this:

  • Choose and cook the food, for the whole family rather than one plate per person.
  • Put meals and snacks at regular times, so the day has a predictable shape.
  • Decide where eating happens and sit down together. Satter's own page notes a table is not required.
  • Keep the mood at meals pleasant, and show by example how people behave at a shared meal.
  • Take account of how little experience a child has with food, without cooking to order around likes and dislikes.
  • Keep food and drinks other than water out of the gaps between meals and snacks.
  • Let children grow into the bodies that are right for them.

The child's side, and the trust it asks for

The hard part of the model is the parent's half of the trust. Satter's position is that when parents do their feeding jobs, children do their eating jobs: they eat, they eat the amount they need, they gradually learn to eat what the family eats, and they grow in a way that is predictable for them.

That means no pressure in either direction. No bites for a reward, no praise for finishing, no taking food away for eating too much of it, no comments on what is left on the plate. A child who ate two forkfuls of rice and nothing else has done their part of the deal. The next meal or snack comes at its usual time.

It also means the parent does not quietly take back the menu. If a refused dinner is followed by a sandwich made to order, the child has learned that refusing produces a different menu, and the parent is now doing two jobs.

How it works when a child eats very few foods

Families with a child who accepts a short list often hear the model as "serve the family meal and let them go hungry". That is not how the institute describes it. Its guidance for neurodivergent children, who are more likely to be sensitive to texture and to want the same food the same way, is to include a core food at every meal and snack: something the child eats regularly. That is being considerate without catering. The safe food is on the table as part of the family meal, not cooked as a separate one.

In practice a dinner might be chicken, rice, broccoli and a basket of bread, where bread is the safe food. Your child may eat only bread tonight. The chicken and broccoli were still there, served the same way to everyone, and seeing them again and again without being asked to eat them is part of how they become familiar.

The institute also says to seek a registered dietitian if your child regularly eats fewer than ten foods or has problems with growth. Talk to your pediatrician first if you are not sure where to start.

Where it can need adapting for ARFID

ARFID, avoidant/restrictive food intake disorder, is an eating disorder in which the range or amount of food a person eats is limited enough to affect growth, nutrition or daily life. The Division of Responsibility leaves how much to the child, and that is the part a treatment plan may change.

Family-based treatment for ARFID, as Stanford Medicine describes it, gives parents guidance on taking charge of changing their child's eating, including eating very few foods and eating too little. That asks more of parents than "the child decides how much", particularly when weight or nutrition is a concern. Parts of the model often still fit, such as regular meals and snacks, a safe food on the table and no pressure or bribes, but which parts is a decision for the people treating your child.

If you suspect ARFID, or your child already has a diagnosis, do not adapt the model on your own. Ask your pediatrician for a referral to a feeding specialist, such as a feeding therapist, a dietitian who works with eating disorders, or an eating disorder team, and ask them how the Division of Responsibility fits your child's plan.

Where food chaining fits

The Division of Responsibility says who decides; it does not say which foods to put on the table next. Many families pair it with food chaining, the method published by Cheri Fraker, RD and Laura Walbert, SLP, in which a new food differs from an accepted one in a single way. The parent chooses a small step, puts it on the table beside the safe food, and the child decides whether to eat it. Both halves of the model stay intact.

How EatPal helps with the parent's side

The what and the when are the parent's jobs, and they are the ones that take planning. EatPal plans the week from the foods your child already eats, puts a safe food at each meal with one small try bite beside it, and keeps a record of what was eaten, tasted or left. What your child does with the plate stays their decision.

EatPal is a meal planning tool. It does not assess, diagnose or treat feeding problems, and nothing on this page replaces a feeding therapist, a dietitian or your child's doctor.

Common questions

What is the division of responsibility in feeding?
A feeding model created by Ellyn Satter. Parents are responsible for what food is offered, when and where. Children are responsible for how much they eat and whether they eat. For babies, the parent decides what and the baby decides how much.
Who created the division of responsibility?
Ellyn Satter, a dietitian and family therapist. The Ellyn Satter Institute publishes the model and related guidance on its website.
What are the parent's jobs in the division of responsibility?
Choosing and preparing the food, providing meals and snacks at regular times, deciding where eating happens, keeping meals pleasant, showing by example how to behave at the table, and not offering food between meals and snacks.
What is the child's job in the division of responsibility?
Deciding how much to eat and whether to eat from what the parent has offered. The model trusts children to eat the amount they need over time.
Does the division of responsibility work when a child eats very few foods?
The Ellyn Satter Institute's guidance is to include a food the child regularly eats at every meal and snack, as part of the family meal. If your child eats fewer than ten foods or has growth problems, it advises seeing a registered dietitian.
Does the division of responsibility work for ARFID?
Parts of it may, but ARFID treatment can ask parents to take a more active role in how much a child eats than the model does. Follow the plan from your child's feeding specialist or eating disorder team, and ask them how the two fit.
What if my child only eats the safe food at dinner?
Under the model, that is the child's decision. Keep serving the family meal with the safe food included, without comment, and offer the next meal or snack at its usual time. Talk to your pediatrician if it happens at most meals for weeks.
Can I use the division of responsibility with a baby?
Satter describes an infant version: the parent decides what, and the baby decides how much and leads on timing and pace. Parents take on when and where as the baby moves to family food.

Sources